LOST ON PUNK ISLAND: FINALE 2010

I hung out at the Cute Yellow Cottage of Insanity for quite some time. I talked to a guy with Johnny Cash and GG Allin tattoos, and told him I'd never seen GG perform. Then I said I'd better see what the rest of the island was up to, that I'd be back to see him play.

I couldn't find a map that made sense to me, so I followed my ears and found 7 more stages manned by young men in large black t-shirts, standard guitar sounds and 4/4 beats. I am sure they were great. Yeah.

I got back to the Cottage of Insanity in time for the Governor's Island historical police to tell the bands to get off the porch. I guess they didn't want any more fake blood ruining the paint job. Like the former drummer's wife I am, I grabbed some equipment and helped them move it to the front of the building. Anything to get the music going, and get me out of boredom.

I am going to talk about The Arkhams first, even though they were the finale act of the day. They had a lot to overcome: the amazing act that came before them, a smashed microphone from the previous act, the storm that looked like it would arrive any minute. The bass player said, "I knew it would come to this, a stand off between The Arkhams and God. Anyone got any beer?" They are a fantastic roots rock rockabilly band. The guitar player can play. They were danceable. The bass player and lead man did tricks.

They play songs titled "Insanity," and "She's Lost Control."

They had a very sexy dancer.

They did everything right. If you want to learn more about The Arkhams, visit http://www.myspace.com/thearkhams

They are playing lots of gigs, everywhere from Delaware to Germany to NYC this summer. They may be playing near YOU!

The Arkhams were a great, professional act, but the spontaneity of the act before them --that had smashed the microphone--could not be outdone with a planned show.

Poison Control of San Francisco is a loud, fast gritty hard core band with breadth enough to finish off a set with a country song about having only money enough for a six pack of beer. I forgive them for the fake English accent Green Day thing. It is probably de rigeur in SF.

Here is a short sample.

The singer is "Talon" and the drummer was the one with the GG Allin tat. Sometimes they switch places.

They're playing in San Francisco July 14 at Submission Art Space.

For more info, visit: http://www.myspace.com/poisoncontrolpunx

The true finale for me was The Afterbirth. They did punk. They did hardcore. I think I remember them doing psychobilly (but I may have been getting heat stroke after all this time in the sun). They had silly costumes. The lead man, was looked like Bowzer from Sha Na Na in an Elvis superhero suit. The guitarist was dressed as Kurt Cobain in 100 degree heat. One guy only wore a jock strap. There was screaming, and eventually full frontal nudity. (Finally something for the ladies). There was fake blood everywhere.

The Afterbirth sings songs like "Ed Gein was a Craftsman," "Monsterbator," and "Dead Girls Don't Say No." Chastity from Trauma Team 666 and I were dancing like crazy. Here they are at Bar East on the UES in April.

And then they start to cover a song by GG Allin. The drummer with the GG tat runs up, grabs the mike out of Bowzer's hand, and sings the song. During the bridge he started beating himself in the head with it. Blood everywhere and the microphone smashed. I felt like GG's spirit had cum all over us. It was the craziest show I've ever seen. I felt like something happened. Apparently everyone else did too. They rushed the stage.

If you want more of The Afterbirth, they are playing Otto's Shrunken Head on Aug 21.
You can find more info about them at http://www.myspace.com/theafterbirthnyc

I left the show shortly after The Arkhams. I looked for the GG tat man to compliment him, but he couldn't be found . What a great day. I can't believe it took a week's worth of blogging to get to it all. Of course I'll be there next year. Prepared. With a map and my own booze hidden....

LOST ON PUNK ISLAND: Tits Found!

I did eventually leave The Cute Yellow Cottage of Insanity. I needed to eat, after all. The Arkhams guy, who clearly knew about food, pointed me in the right direction for a cheap philly cheezsteak.

While I was in line, I heard the traditional start of a hardcore show. "FUCK ALL YOU FUCKIN' FUCKS!" I was a little stunned, so I can't remember the following litany of trash talk. I remember it became quite creative. What stunned me weren't the words, but the voice. A woman's voice.

I have listened to hardcore punk since 1987, and I've never seen a woman fronting a hardcore band. The woman who had screamed was already gone by the time I was ready to watch her band. I did see her costume though. She and her band wore white and were covered in fake blood. Her show got moved to The Cute Yellow Cottage of Insanity. However, another act with a female singer took her place: The Straphangers. From Queens.

They attracted a very excited male following, who put out a lot of energy for 12 noon.

I have to say they were a lot of fun, and don't have stupid Manhattan punk names. They have true Queens punk names Emily the singer, Mike the drummer, Nick the bassist, and Taras and Larry on guitar. Mike does grindcore backing vocals. Really awesome.

The band is super tight and energetic.

May I present The Straphangers (courtesy of pcimprezzive):

After the show I was hurrying to catch up to the next awesome chic act, and ran into Emily. We talked about her cute, married drummer. She said being in a band full of guys was ruining her "game."

As of 6/20, she was single. Isn't she cute? Her next gig on

Aug 7 at Don Pedros. For more info, visit

http://www.myspace.com/straphangers

More was going on at The Cute Yellow House of Insanity.

Trauma Team 666 was there. That's right, the crew covered in blood from before.

They're called Trauma Team 666, because when the band first got together. Mary (the drummer) and Chastity (the singer) kept getting injured (not on purpose) and ending dealing with trauma teams at the hospital.

Here they are doing "Everybody Sucks But Me" at the Underscore in NYC.

Their next gig is at Otto's Shrunken Head 8/21.

For more info: http://www.myspace.com/traumateam666

LOST ON PUNK ISLAND: Surrounded by Pirates!

After awesome ska experience of The Snails, I thought about seeing what the rest of the scene was like on Punk Island. I had heard tell there were 18 stages. And I had only found one! But then I saw this guy:

Oh, sorry. I mean this guy.

But he really reminded me of Captain Morgan fun on this dry drunk Punk Island. He's Jonee Earthquakes (pron. johnny) from New Hampshire. I wasn't sure if he was doing 'revolutionary war hero' or pirate, but he was pirate enough to make me want to stay. This is what good pirate fashion can do. He sang songs called "DIY or Die" "Fuck the Promoters"(I think) and "Playing with Fire"

I don't know why I didn't get video of them. Probably because I was asking the guy from the Arkhams where he got his fuckin' sandwich. Here are The Jonee Earthquake Band at Artspace in Massachusetts, doing "The Ballad of GG" GG Allin will become important in later posts.

Here is a pirate fashion-don't:

But for a hand-made pirate hat, it was pretty good. His band was The Thirsty Pirates. He sings stuff like "My Parrot Is Drunk." I'm not going to lie to you. I was horny that day, so looks did count in this list of the only good bands I saw on Punk Island. There were probably many good bands I didn't see.

OK. Just in case you are into silly pirates, and you know, he does something for you, here is Captain Ronzo and the Thirsty Pirates covering Little Saint Nick by the Beach Boys. Really silly. I found his singing in the shower series of videos so unbearably silly, I couldn't post them.

I guess it's all about your taste in pirates.

If you want more authentic punk piracy, visit:

http://www.joneeearthquake.com/

For silliness, visit:

http://www.myspace.com/captainronzo

On a sidelight, I ran up and took this picture of the sexiest blue guitar I've ever seen. I don't know if I want a latex outfit in this color, or if I want my boyfriend to wear condoms this color, but here it is:

Tomorrow: LOST ON PUNK ISLAND: TITS FOUND!

LOST ON PUNK ISLAND: Like Snails, man. SNAILS!

Punk Island, a punk festival lasting 7 hours (10-5)on 18 stages was held on Governor's Island in New York City. You can only get there by ferry. The Punk Island 2010 web site said there would be tables selling water, concessions, which would go toward future Punk Island festivals. Assuming that people wanted to make money, I brought nothing with me, including a map of the 18 stages, or water. When the ferry dropped fellow tattooed ones and myself off at the island, there was...no one. And no signs to point us to anyone/anywhere, including anyone to give money to.

My boyfriend, the Grandaddy of punks, said, "Its run by punks. What did you expect? Organization? NO NO NO CHAOS!"

Well, I thought punks only pretended they didn't like money. I guess they really don't like it.

So the group of us followed the guy who had brought a map he had printed out from the internet. It wasn't long before we ran into a band that was completely lost, sitting hunched on the curb among their instruments and forlorn looks on their faces. I wish I had thought to take a picture. It was only 11:30am.

That was probably because I heard music coming from a yellow house across the field. I chose to follow my ears rather than some punk with a map. Because I wanted music, and I wanted it now, dammit!

There weren't too many people there. The audience was mostly musicians and members of the press.



Thank god from them, or The Snails would've been missed by everyone completely. They were a cheerful ska band, easy on the ears, melodic. They say they are influenced by Joe Strummer of The Clash.

Here is a sample:


The Snails are (l to r)Devon the Skanky D Grinder, Kyle (Crazy Hanz), Tim "Boss" Johnson on gee-tar and vocals, Kevin "secks" on drums, and Todd. They are all very indie-rock cute.

If you want to hear more, visit http://www.myspace.com/thesnailspa

Their next gig will be on Jun 26 2010, 6:00PM, at SkateIt Skatepark Manheim, PA.

I would go, if I lived near there.

NEXT: LOST ON PUNK ISLAND, AND SURROUNDED BY PIRATES!

PUNK ISLAND: Yummy Yummy Punk Rock Girls

Before I go into all the bands I saw on Punk Rock Island (Governor's Island, 6/20), I want to give kudos to all the punk rock girls who hung around in the hot sun with no beer, selling merch for their boyfriends' bands. These are the unsung heroes of the day!

This lady was doing merch earlier. She is The Thirsty Pirates' drummer's mom. Thanks mom!



We were pretty bored until this lady came along. You are awesome pink dog lady!



This was the only girl on grrl action I got all day.

I think we were all thankful for this fine woman by the end of the day. We needed to be reminded we weren't in a backyard in New Jersey.




So, thanks ladies, for all your hard work on a hot day. And guess what? After all this action, they had to lug all that stuff home with a bunch of hot, sweaty, smelly guys. It's a good thing they are punk rock girls.

Max's Kansas City Supergroup Playing July 2nd, 9pm!

The Hudson Dusters, a loud fast rock'n'roll band in the vein of the Heartbreakers, only still alive will be playing ChaChas Coney Island July 2 at 9pm.

FEATURING

lead singer John Collins, of the John Collins Band, The Terrorists and collaborator with Wayne Kramer of the MC5. Max's Kansas City produced albums annually of their best performances. The John Collins Band made the cut twice in 1976. You can listen to a sample here.

Wild Bill Thompson of The Senders (Max's KC house band) as well as Savoy Brown, Robert Gordon and Vinny Matland and Brian Setzer. Screaming guitar video here.

Danny Ray on "patented exploding sax," currently playing with Mad Juana. Previous projects included The New York Dolls, Bo Diddley, Wayne Kramer of the MC5 and many, many more...

Kevin Shaw on bass, who has backed up The BMTs and Link Wray among many others.

Bill Tello of the rockabilly sensation Slick Pelt on drums! Listen here.

For more info, music and video, visit: http://www.myspace.com/hudsondusters

Action Packed

When I was first introduced to Ronnie Dawson (1939-2003), the Blond Bomber, the Man Who Wouldabin Elvis, if Elvis just hadn't been, I was awed. And then I was shocked by what was politically correct in 1955.

I think the best lyrics are from "Congratulations to Me"

...for I'm a lucky man
my baby she loves me
got her ring upon her hand
when it comes to lovin'
baby knows what to do---
and she's a sassy lassy
But man she can COOK TOO--OOO


Lyrics from "I make the love" sounds like Ronnie read his fair share of issues of Cad Magazine.


At least "I Make the Love" was honest.

What really won me over to Ronnie Dawson though, other than Ghost Riders in the Sky, and Rockin Bones, and Everybody Clap Your Hands (which every bar band should learn TODAY) was Action Packed. Of course, coming from comics, I am going to love pretty much any song with the words "action packed" in the title or lyrics.



This song made my hips move almost like Sheree there. Plus it embodies my entire philosophy of life. "no squares better tag along..."

My First Band Poster in 15 years

With apologies to the "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" poster from the 50s.

I'm proud of this one because the poster illustrates what the band is like. No one is going to look at this and think they'll see a Grateful Dead cover band. They're fun, kinda punkish 50s-ish rock n roll band.

The bandleader seemed to like the poster quite a bit. I hope they use it.